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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Facing Bad People

I find the anonymity of the Internet a fascinating thing.  People can choose to present themselves in nearly any manner they want to.

Often that means they are outspoken when, in real life, they are the recluse or shy.  Unfortunately for some they will be mean,or negative.  And so Online harassment, bullying or trying to negatively influence others is a reality in a virtual environment.

In the on line I've had a few cases of this.  One was an extreme case where the guy would log in and simply stream my chats with insults and youtube links leading to racists videos of poor taste.

How do you handle this then?  Do you let people get to you?  Do you run away, or have them drive you away?   How do you react when insulted?

1. Be cool.  I'll save what my opinion of what being cool is for another blog post, but be cool when in the face of adversity, insults and/or harassment.  If another person is trying to make you feel bad on purpose then why let them create grief for you?  Try not to show your feelings when you are insulted or teased.  The more you show you are hurt, the more insults will continue.  Take my online harasser.  He would claim to be an Occupy Movement supporter.  But then he would relate the issues to religion or minority groups -- that was easy to stay cool about since he was obviously ignorant.

Try not to show your feelings if you are insulted or teased. The more you act hurt, the more the insults will continue. The goal is to hurt you, but if you do not show you are hurt, it will stop.

2. Be Yourself
Obviously you can't be someone other than who you are.  If being who you are is somehow insulting to the other person then he/she has already made up his/her mind up about what/who you are.  If you try to change your friends, or you yourself might hate what you become.

3.  Stay Positive.
Remember to stay positive in the tide of negativity.

  • If you don' have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.  Avoid reciprocating negative behaviour with your own negative behaviour. 
  • Answering back with any retort will only make things worse.  People will want to 'win' or be right.  Give the griever no additional fuel to burn and let their proverbial fire consume itself until it's out.
  • Accept that people are different.  Often you are criticized if your tastes don't align with another's taste.  For instance in music.  A person obsessed with anything is a geek.

geek/gēk/

Noun:
  1. An unfashionable or socially inept person.
  2. A person with an eccentric devotion to a particular interest: "a computer geek".

  • So I am a fashion geek since I love fashion.  My father is a hockey geek because he loves hockey.  It amuses me to watch those who love to criticize others for their obsessions when they are but geeks themselves.
  • Smile and nicely say to the person, "You really think so?  Walk away. If you don't engage the person in a combative remark, he/she has no place to go and has nothing else to say
  • If your "friends" are the ones that usually tease you, step back and evaluate your relationship with them. Do they really mean to make you laugh, or make you feel bad? Perhaps if they tease you so much, you should stop being friends with them.

5.  If he/she insults you upon your intelligence, just hold  your head up high.  Most cases I found those insulting other's intelligence are misinformed, or poorly educated.  It is not your job to correct them and so much more satisfying when their ignorance is outed.

6.  If someone insults you as BEING someone you're not then grossly play out the part of who they're telling you are. Acting up as that person will often make them stop quickly, and people around you will know you are kidding if you are wildly acting it out.

7.  Don't Be Insulted
Simply do not be insulted. Their remark is as insincere as flattery. If they want to have a problem with you, that is their problem.

I probably have more which I may add later on.  Remember to Stay Cool.